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Monday, October 26, 2009
First and foremost, i need to sleep, i do pray that i'll get a comfortable and peaceful sleep. Moving on, what if the world isn't what it's all made out to be. What if life was carefree and easygoing. What if all i needed to do was ply my trade from a young and tender age. Oh, imagination, you're getting too extreme in my head. I don't know what's right or wrong now but going out on sunday made my week. The Esplanade, the Carl's Jr, Oh so heavenly. I can't imagine them out of my life, away from me and my endless nagging. Visualizing myself with a new party, a clique, one so unique or stupid to make me fit in, it just seems so far fetched. I need reassurance, praise, criticism, laughter. I need the people i love. How can one grow being stuck in a chasm of loneliness and self denial? I feel for those who are being taken for granted, for those yet to experience loss, for those forbidden from pursuing their dreams and aspirations. Music moves me oh so much. Such a simple rhythm, such age old melody and touching counterpoint. Nothing compares to a live performance, the music coursing through one. Too magical, mystifying even. I digress. All i can do now is to move forward. To face what there is to come and it shall pass, like everything challenging. And i shall remain the eye of the storm, oblivious and peaceful. I hope i'm doing something right.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tralalalala. Time sucks. HAHS, what the heck. To state what is occupying my mind. Studies Church Flute Lan Too easy. Yawn, i don't know. I'm like not worried about Os and at the same time really scared as heck. Like, i don't want to be the one brooding about in a corner with eyes tearing and knees about to buckle when i receive my results but i still can't/don't want to have the motivation to study, oh the irony. As much as i don't want to let my parents, seniors and friends down, i don't know what i want at this juncture in life. So hard to believe something so mundane like 2 weeks worth of exams can decide one's future. GARRRHHH. I seem like i'm half hearted in everyday i do nowadays. I'm practicing something i thoroughly abhor, more irony. I'm not really working towards what i want or what i don't. I need somebody to slap my face, hard, to tell me i'm screwing up my future by not doing a thing and watching life go by. Moving on. Tomorrow or should i say, today is our graduation ceremony and yea, it'll be nostalgic as heck. Bittersweet should be the word. I'd like to thank the teachers, seniors, juniors, classmates, the trials, tribulations and everyone/everything who/that played a part in my growth, here and now. I'd probably be unable to express this in person being the person that i am. I know i'm a changed person after these four years and i want to know that i've changed for the better and that i can make a difference in another person's life. I have loads of thoughts swirling about in my mind so i'm trying to be brief. I'd like to type a poem now but the song playing is totally distracting so i'm going to give it a miss. I am truly horrible at composing them.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Sunday, June 07, 2009
It's been ages since i last blogged, almost forgotten how. Anyway, i figured out the joys out a phone call. I never really called people for fear of rejection(?), weird excuse but heck. Yea, so when i finally did, it was pretty fulfilling and entertaining. So much more effective than damn msn. I also noticed how people around me have matured, even by a little. People normally wouldn't give a shit really. Been doing DSA recently and i kinda noticed that even though i claim to be affected less by nervousness, it's still omnipresent. Having bout 10 people stare at you doesn't help either. I complain about my life a lot, but the fact is that i'm awfully blessed. I have food whenever i need it, i have money whenever i ask for it. Compared to people around me, sure i'm not the richest, most fortunate guy around but i can still survive relatively well. RCIY has also opened my eyes in a way. Having people sharing about themselves also showed me how fortunate i've been. I have a complete family, sure they quarrel but they're still together, friends whom i can count on and a passion to pursue. Never again am i going to say life sucks. My life has it's problems, possibly more than most people but those problems, those challenges probably made me a better person. Back to more mundane matters, Os are coming up in a couple of months and i've yet to start studying. I promised myself i would, and i will, just not yet.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Thursday, April 09, 2009
I really think i've grown. Oh, first thing's first. We got effing GOLD for SYF. Thank God. Back to the point. I've grown, i dare to voice out my opinions and not be so afraid of another's comments. I'm still afraid, of course but i'm coping. The old me would usually just keep his mouth shut and watch the world go by. His motto was 'Shut up and listen'. My motto now is 'What else can go wrong? Might as well'. Gabriel Khoo got a girlfriend, what the heck?! Okay, back to the point again. I'm still shy and more or less quiet when i can be but i've changed, for the better i hope. Anyway, thanks for your effort but please don't treat it as a holiday yet. Check band blog please.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Hahs, i'm amazed. I'm glad i joined band, realy glad. Sure didn't know what the heck i was getting into in sec one but hey, no regrets. Even when i assumed a position of leadership, i knew it was going to be crap, but again, no regrets. Heck, maybe i should save this for a graduation speech, maybe. All the shit that happened sure felt effed at that point in time but it all helped. Enduring waves of 'attacks' in the middle of the night and acting like a puppet really helped me grow. I just seriously worry, course i do. It's another SYF and this time, i'll be a sec four helping lead them towards their goal(gold). Look! Wordplay! Okay, back to topic. I still can't perfect both pieces, infuriating really! Maybe if i didn't get into that position, i could be better, another maybe. Doesn't matter now, it's in two days. Just take it easy and let life take it's course. All that matters for now is that we go up on that stage confident and calm. Can't believe that such a big deal is just going to end in 15 minutes. Oh, on another note, girl matters are irritating. Hahs, we're so exaggerating their influence on us and it's just before the competition. I swear, if they let that shit affect them negatively..... I'm actually nervous really. Hahs, effed up situation i tell you.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Hah, back from my hiatus. Been some time since i blogged. Things have changed though, for the better i hope. Band's becoming a daily routine, an obsession if you will. Sure it's tiring, cold, and more or less painful but it's becoming satisfactory i think. I'm growing, becoming more open, less narcissistic. It's not fun being the bad guy but it'll work. Hahs, secondary 4 and the first two months have flown by. SYF soon..... 30th march. Nerve-wrecking, true, but i can't wait for it. It's been quite some time since i've been on that stage. Going up again is going to be SO nostalgic except it's with different people. People i've gotten to 'know' and learn about. It saddens me to leave the school(band) at the end of this year(i hope i do leave though) although i may complain about the school and how it truly does suck, i don't want to leave i think, not just yet. My life, from this angle, isn't that bad. I think i am content.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Watching Friends, interesting. I'm sleepy. And Chinese New Year's never been this boring, seriously! Each year surpasses the previous. Sure, the money is good but that's about it. I never looked forward to seeing my family members, heck why should i. I just can't seem to interact with them without feeling like an idiot. Been trying Mozart lately. Eff, it's difficult. But i'm happy, i think. If it helps me improve, i'll try anything. So so sleepy. Argh.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
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